And on tonight's episode of "The Good Parent," we have Ma vs the Grandparents vs Paul/Deana! Who shows Jack the "proper" parenting techniques? Has Ma's parenting been lacking? Read to find out!
Okay, in seriousness now. Our class has definitely been having some discussion about Room and how Jack has been parented throughout his five years, here are some thoughts.
Up until their escape, Ma had done the best she could with what little she had to work with. And yeah, she didn't know to add equal amounts of salt as flour to homemade play-doh, and she didn't have the ability to give Jack LEGOs or a Dora backpack. However, Jack knew no difference. He was content with the plain flour dough, and he didn't even know what LEGOs were, or that Dora backpacks existed. Ma did an exceptional job parenting Jack with with little resources she had. Ma even exceeded in teaching Jack cognitive skills. I babysit regularly for kids around Jack's age, and even those a bit older than Jack don't have the math skills or even some of the vocabulary skills that he's been taught by Ma. Ma has nurtured and supported Jack 100%, and I find it frustrating when others tried to question her parenting abilities.
And who needs the modern latte-drinking, laid-back but at the same time overly-cautious version of parenting? I'm not saying Paul and Deana are bad parents, but for Jack specifically, their approach to parenting just don't fit his needs (which are unusual and specific). And for Bronwyn, this version seems totally acceptable for the needs of her hip-hop learning self.
And then we have Grandma and Leo. Grandma seems like she has such an ease to her parenting; I mean, she has raised two kids (as she points out to Dr Clay). I really like her "learn from your mistakes" way of teaching Jack, it seems the most natural and effective. Yeah, you can tell a kid not to touch a bee, but what are most five-year-olds going to do? (answer: touch the bee anyway). And I also feel like Grandma is treating Jack normally, not making it a big deal that he's "different," therefore, he doesn't really need much different parenting, right? And Leo is kind of the same way in his style of parenting. Leo's never had kids, and I think that might actually aid in his approach to interacting with Jack. Jack, because of his extraordinary situation, comes off as more mature than an average five-year-old. Leo treats Jack almost like an adult, or an equal, and Jack responds well to this approach.
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(Former blog for Hero's Journey 2016)
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I commented on a different post about Leo how I really liked Leo's parenting because it was very "let Jack do Jack." Jack's experience with Paul/Deana was pretty frenzied and slightly more calm with Grandma. I agree that Leo sees Jack more as another mini adult whereas the other adults at least subconsciously see Jack as a kid with a special past.
ReplyDeleteThere is something to be said for similarities between a helicopter, overprotective style of parenting and what Ma had going in Room. Not to say that she had any choice there, she kind of had to always be hovering around Jack in that 11x11 space. But it does seem like the kind of parenting that ends up working the best for Jack is Grandma's and Steppa's, which is a very hands off "throw him into the deep end" approach. I think this makes a lot of sense given Jack's situation: in several weeks he learns a lot of what most children spend the first five years of their lives learning.
ReplyDeleteI did a similar post. It's a cool idea to think of how things may have turned out, if Jack stayed with Steppa and Grandma a bit longer. Leo never having kids before and Grandma having multiple kind of combine to create a good set of parents here. Like, Leo is a pretty immature guy, but he's what Jack needs as a friend, and Grandma is what he needs as a protector, but not someone who needs their own care, like Ma.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your admiration of Grandma in letting Jack explore the world by himself. Because Jack is kind of dropped in this gigantic world that he has never experienced before, the best way to let him become exposed to the world isn't exactly to carve out a path for him, but to let him explore and learn.
ReplyDelete